It's been awhile since I've taken the time to sit down and process what has been happening in my life and actually write down my thoughts.
The school year has begun in a flurry, and I feel like I haven't had any time to catch my breath.
Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself, but I guess a lot of what I am involved in is helping train me for life outside of the walls of Simpson.
In this moment, my life is hectic, and like last semester, I am so weary, just emotionally and physically, even spiritually.
The quiet place of rest in the Lord's presence is what my soul is constantly thirsting for, now even more desperately in this time of busyness. It's strange how in times like these, it is the most difficult to escape to that place of rest and yet it is where my soul is ever more aware of the need for time in His presence.
This summer, I had so much time for rest, and the Lord taught me the goodness of it (then I craved the busyness of this life!).
And now, I have little time for rest, and I miss having so much time to choose to be with the Lord. The good thing is I remember the rest that He taught me, and I know the importance of it for my body, mind, and soul.
This Sunday at Risen King, the pastor talked about the discipline of devotion and "pursuing the quiet." It resonated so much with me as I struggle to make time for the quiet rest in midst of everything I have to do.
This week, my heart has been oppressed under a sense of heaviness. With everything I have going on, it was easy to ignore it, except for the times it attacked me when I slowed down enough to feel it. I don't know what it has been or where it's from, but I know it's not of the Lord. It all came to a climax last night in a dream, where evil was very present. In my dream, I knew the power of the Lord and His victory over darkness, which swept away the fear but still left my heart feeling disturbed.
It made me so much more aware of the spiritual war going on around me, which can be so easily forgotten in this life and culture. I don't see the physical effects of spiritual warfare, but my spirit feels it.
As I'm looking towards the rest of this year and the future: my internship next summer, one more semester of school, graduation, and then whatever the Lord has in store for me after, I am filled with expectation and hope at what the Lord will do in and through me.
My heart longs to see the Lord's kingdom come and His heart for the lost play out in nations bound in darkness, and I think that the darkness would do anything to stop the light from penetrating those hearts.
I pray for those who are already in the darkest places living out the light in the form of His love as I live in this season of learning and growing and preparing.
I mostly just use this blog as a way to write out thoughts that have been on my heart lately and don't like to ask people things, but since I feel like there has been a palpable heaviness present here, could you please keep me in your prayers?
It is encouraging to know that this journey is not walked alone, firstly because we walk with Jesus in this journey, and secondly because He has provided community within His church for this journey.
Thank you for the beauty of the light of Jesus shining in His love through you.
